Dear Hollywood,There seems to an abundance of remakes and reboots as of late. "Conan the Barbarian," "Spiderman," "Arthur" just to name a few that aren't cartoon retreads. Now I'm not so discerning as to write them all off, after all original ideas are hard to come by. Still if you want to make high quality films while raking in a fair amount of cash you may want to pay attention to these simple guidelines.1. Know what to remake. Stay away from iconic films like "The Day the Earth Stood Still" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" PLEASE! They are never going to make a profit and will receive the ire of cinefiles like myself. Plus even if you make a fair remake that makes a small profit, it will always be compared to the original and eventually fade into obscurity a la Christopher Lee's "Dracula." Also stay away from iconic film roles. Jimmy Stewart will always be Mr. Smith, Peter Sellers will always be Inspector Clouseau and while it was a nice try, Johnny Depp will never be Willy Wonka.
2. Pick good obscure films.
The original "Cape Fear" was box-office poison while "Insomnia" and "La Cage aux Folles" were only well known in their own country of origin. Still good stories are good stories and they should be enjoyed by subsequent generations. Speaking of which...3. WAIT! You want to know why "Let Me In" was a disappointment even if it was decent? It's because people who saw the cult original thought it was too soon to remake it. I mean 2 years? Come on! The rule of thumb is the more popular the movie, the longer you should wait but since that advice borders on common sense, I'll break
it down for you.Obscure: 5-10yrs
Cult Favorites: 8-15yrs
Popular: 15-40yrs
Timeless Classics: NEVER
4. Don't make it a labor of love.
If you're a filmmaker and your dream has always been to remake the film the "inspired you," let that dream go please. "Solaris," "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" and "Psycho" were abject failures for that very reason. Somewhat related, the only person who can remake Hitchcock is Hitchcock (The Man Who Knew Too Much).5. Understand the point. The reason why remakes like "Ocean's Eleven," "The Fly"
and "Scarface" were successful wasn't exactly because the makers were married to the source materials but rather because they got the point of the original. "The Fly" was about cheap thrills, "Scarface" was about the rise and fall of an immigrant crime lord and "Ocean's Eleven" was about getting a bunch of a-listers together in Las Vegas. Meanwhile "Godzilla" was not just about destroying city-scapes and "Rollerball" was not about...wait, what was the point of that one?7. When you can't remake, revision. There are exceptions to all of the above rules but those
select films that manage to truly break the mold do so because they weren't strictly remakes. "Little Shop of Horrors," "Hairspray" and "Reefer Madness" were musical remakes and damn good ones. My favorite remakes however like The Departed (Remake of Infernal Affairs) Magnificent Seven (Seven Samurai) and A Fistful of Dollars (Yojimbo) changed their style, locale, titles and in a few cases, themes.8. Understand that even if everything works in your favor, your
film may never be considered as good as the original. But it can still be awesome. Sure 2010's True Grit may not reach the level of the 1969 original but it still has its value, accolades and supporters.At the cost of being redundant, here is a short list of decent remakes and bad Remakes that I think highlight my point.
Good
The Magnificent Seven [1960](Seven Samurai [1954])
A Fistful of Dollars [1964](Yojimbo [1961])
The Departed [2006](Infernal Affairs [2002])
The Fly [1986](The Fly [1958])
Little Shop of Horrors [1986](Little Shop of Horrors [1960])
King Kong [2005](King Kong [1933])
Ocean's Eleven [2001] (Ocean's 11 [1960])
The Thing [1982](The Thing From Another World [1951])
Willard [2003](Willard [1971])
12 [2007](12 Angry Men [1957])
Bad
Rollerball [2005] (Rollerball [1975])
The Pink Panther [2006](The Pink Panther [1963])
The Day the Earth Stood Still [2008] (The Day the Earth Stood Still [1951])
Psycho [1998](Psycho [1960])
Charlie and Chocolate Factory [2005](Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory [1971])
Planet of the Apes [2001](Planet of the Apes [1968])
Clash of the Titans [2010](Clash of the Titans [1981])
The Time Machine [2002](The Time Machine [1960])
101 Dalmatians [1996](101 Dalmatians [1961])
Bad News Bears [2005](The Bad News Bears [1976])
